


80 Years: Preview

by flouridation



Series: 80 Years [1]
Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Crying, Cunnilingus, Here we go!, Kissing, Other, PIV Sex, PWP, Penetrative Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, That is all, ULTRA safe sex lol, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Wish Fulfillment, as if that's a tag i actually need to use, based loosly, blowjob, don't ask why i feel that way, extremely long sex session, h x nth if you will, handjob, human x nonhuman, human x nonhuman transitioning to human, i feel like i characterized them pretty well, if this gets you off you should slide into my DMs though, if you don't want to read the dorkiest work of fiction ever created... don't, is that a tag?, it's janet she knows everything, keep in mind it's from Janet's pov so it was always going to be pretty weird, loosely, no i do not accept constructive criticism, non-binary janet, oh yeah loss of virginity, okay now for the actual tags, on my first time except imagine way more awkward and way less informed, pineapple and anchovies pizza, please ignore the trash writing just validate me anyway, safe sex, tender yet exuberant love-making, this is a sneak peek for an indefinitely long janson fic called "80 Years" that I DO intend to write, this is not supposed to get anyone but me off, we just dive right in btw there's no opening scene it just starts, who's wish? that's up for debate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-11 06:14:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20541422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flouridation/pseuds/flouridation
Summary: In a new timeline where Janet sheds her powers voluntarily and goes to Earth to live a human life, knowing she faces likely marbelization if she doesn't and a potential eternity of torture if she does, Janet gets her 80 years of waiting for things to be over. Oh but this is just a sex scene from Janet's POV just so you get a taste of the funky frickin writing that's gonna be this fic. I too am an otherworldly being who is just learning how to human for the first time. Buckle up.





	80 Years: Preview

**Author's Note:**

> I am both proud and ashamed. Bring on Season Four.

And then he kissed her, and her whole, wholly human body came alive. It was so different from... everything. And literally the best thing she’d ever experienced, if not for the physical sensation then for the emotion it brought up. And fork, did it bring up some emotions. Tears were rolling down her face, she suddenly realized with a furious blush. Actual tears. Of longing? Of joy? 

“Aaaa,” she said as Jason pulled away. 

“What did you just say?” He asked, then, seeing her face, “Oh no! I’m sorry girl, are you okay?” 

“Aaaa, not a girl, and I don’t know. I don’t know! I never know what I’m feeling and it’s literally the worst thing ever. Humans have so many emotions!” She was still crying for a reason she could not name. 

“Well, if you’re not sure, we can take it slow,” he said, brushing the tears off her cheeks, holding her hands, and giving her one of his devastating patent-pending Jason Mendoza smiles. “Whatever makes you comfortable, girl. Sorry, I mean person,” he said quickly as Janet opened her mouth automatically. “I just mean like, you’re my girlll, you know? But not a girl. Like, you’re my—you’re just Janet. But you’re so many cool things, too. Like, you know all this stuff and you’re always nice to me and you’re so pretty—“ 

He was cut off momentarily, because Janet leaned forward and kissed him. It must have been half a minute before she pulled away with a deep breath. Emotions were by far the most embarrassing part of being a human. But she was starting to like them. A smile flickered across her face for a moment, and Jason beamed back. “Ohhhhh,” he said crowed, “You just kissed me. You like me. That’s so dope!” 

“I just told you I was in love with you,” she laughed. Laughing was nice. Even when it made her voice tremble. “Of course I like you.” 

“Well, if you like me, and I like you, maybe we could...” he raised his eyebrows and Janet inwardly gasped. Then she heard it out loud. Oops, maybe not so inwardly then. Did the embarrassment of being human ever end, or did it just get gradually worse until eventually she died? 

“Yes,” she squeaked, “We could. That is, I would like that.” Her face was flaming, her whole body was flaming, fantastic. 

“Right now?” Jason asked, hints of hope in his adorable goofy voice. Janet’s eyes widened as she nodded, immediately a whole bundle of nerves. 

“Okay. I mean, yes. Extra yes, a lot of yes. Superlative form of yes.” She was stammering now.  _ Fork being human, fork it so hard. _ She wanted to cry again but she was too excited. And nervous. But mostly excited. Or nervous. Both? Both. 

“Suh-weet!” He said, running his hands down her waist. The contact was instantly arousing, a feeling she had come to understand well by now. But it was also scary, a sign that this was all becoming very real, very quickly. And she had no idea what happened next. Of course, she’d consumed every pornographic piece of media in existence up until she went down to earth, but actual sex? She had no idea what that would be like. What if it was painful? What if she was terrible at it and he didn’t love her anymore? His hands were moving down now, reaching for the buttons on her vest. 

“Jason, wait—“ she said urgently, grabbing hold of his arms. 

“What’s up?” He asked, immediately concerned. 

“Oh no. Oh boy. I don’t really know how to tell you this.” Fork. It gets worse. It never stops. 

“Ohh, man, do you have some kind of disease? Because that’s no big deal, I have condoms and when we’re done we can turn them inside out, rub chili sauce on them to disinfect them, and just—“ 

“Please stop talking,” she said, brushing her hair out of her face and looking askance, nearing panic. How was she supposed to word this? ‘I’m a supernatural otherworldly being and consequently missed out on many formative human experiences such as losing baby teeth and graduating high school. Oh, and also, I’ve never lost my virginity! Which is a really strange thing humans say, by the way. Virginity is a strange social concept and no one “loses” anything during their sexual debut. Except me, losing my mind, because this is literally so exciting and terrifying and I have no idea what will happen but whatever it is I really want it, but at the same time I’m afraid to get it, and everything is so confusing and exhausting and I just wish everything made sense!’ 

“It... it’s my first time,” she said at last, closing her eyes to soak up this new wave of embarrassment as it crashed ashore. “Actually, my first kiss with you was my first kiss ever.” She screamed internally.  _ Too much information, abort! Abort!  _

Jason’s eyes widened. “Oh snap! I had no idea. I just assumed someone as hot as you probably had lots of sex by now. But it’s okay,” he said at her expression, taking her hands again. “I’m right here with you. If it ever gets scary we can stop right away. And we won’t do anything too weird. Unless you want to. It’ll all be okay.” He promised, kissing her hands. 

Janet smiled, flooding with relief. “Okay.” She started kissing him again. This time she didn’t pull away, only let him run his hands over her body, pausing over certain areas. Hesitantly she did the same. His muscles beneath his clothes were so nice. She wanted to feel them more. 

Her hand traveled slowly under his shirt, up his stomach and over his chest. He jerked away slightly. “That tickles,” he said with a grin. 

“Oh, sorry,” Janet said, laughing nervously. Then he resumed kissing her. She ran her hands up his back this time, feeling each of the muscles and calling to mind everything she’d ever learned about human anatomy. 

Jason was fiddling with the buttons of her vest, and then suddenly it was off, falling to the floor with a gentle  _ fwoosh _ , and some clicks from the buttons. She decided to take off his shirt, pausing their kiss and pulling it a little awkwardly over his head and shoulders, dropping it to the floor in a heap, staring at his gorgeous exposed body. It was suddenly very hard to breathe. 

Jason looked her in the eye and smiled slightly. Then he took her patterned blouse in his hands and started unbuttoning that, too. Button by button, inches at a time, until her whole upper body was exposed save for the contents of her bra. A whole horde of humanoid body image concerns crossed her mind in an instant, this was so nerve-wracking and she wanted it so much. Did he want it too? Was he feeling these things too? It was the most vulnerable she’d ever been. And the most wrought with anticipation. This was it. 

“Damn, you got nice boobs,” he said, giving them a gentle squeeze over her bra. 

“Oh,” she said, startled but pleased. “Thank you. You have a nice... everything,” she finished weakly, trailing off to stare at him again. 

“Do you want to take your clothes off?” He asked. 

“Yes, but I want you to help me.” She brought his hands to her shoulders and together they shrugged off her shirt, then Jason’s hands reached around her back and unhooked her bra. It fell to the floor with her other clothes and she stood there, literally exposed and loving every moment of it. She so wanted to see what would happen next. 

What happened next was Jason stepping closer and kissing her neck and clavicle, making his way down finally to her breast and sucking at her nipple. Each new sensation sent a ripple of pleasure through her body, so human, so alive, and she found herself sighing at every touch from him. 

He paused for a moment and looked up. “Should we go into the bedroom?” 

Janet nodded. “That seems like the right thing to do.” 

He held out his hand and she clung to it as they made their way down the hall and sat on his queen-sized air mattress. It made a loud squeaking sound as they sat down and they both giggled, then went back to kissing. He pulled her hair back from her face with one smooth brush of his hand, just grazing her skin. She reached her hand down past his waist and felt the crotch of his pants, her heart leaping as she found an erection. She’d been expecting it, but still! It was different when she actually touched one. Warm and firm, and extremely weird. And very cool. 

Jason brought her hand to the waistband of his pants and then she reached under it. Meanwhile he started pulling off her skirt. “Ah, wait,” she said, breaking away and adjusting her hair. “You first.” 

“Huh?” 

“I want you to be naked first, then I won’t feel weird about being naked in front of you.” 

“Okay,” he shrugged, taking off the remainder of his clothes. For a moment Janet just stared at him, instinctively fantasizing about the things she could do to his body. Then she realized they were actually about to have sex and she really would be doing those things. There were the nerves again. 

But she pushed through, and, a moment later, she too was naked and sitting on the bed beside him. Her stores of information about the human body better not fail her now. She reached forward and took his erection into her hand, then paused. Which hand did she use more again? Oh right, she was perfectly ambidextrous. It literally didn’t matter. Don’t be a Chidi, Janet. Left. Wait! 

“We need protection,” she said, looking around as if she’d find condoms lying on a pillow like mints. Which made no sense, because she knew he kept them in the closet. 

“Oh yeah,” Jason said. “Good call. Don’t worry, I have them, hold on...” he said, heading over to the closet and reaching around on the top shelf. He grabbed something and pulled it down, only to find it to be a shiny plastic kazoo. “That won’t work.” He rooted around further back and pulled out a packet of balloons. “Nope...” 

“Closer though,” Janet deadpanned. Then, as casually as she could manage, “Try slightly to the right.” She figured he’d probably bring her everything else in the house before he found them on his own, up to and including his garden of succulents, which he kept because their name included ‘succ.’ She’d just gently direct him, to speed up the process. 

He complied, and retrieved a comically long string of condoms in their shiny, colorful wrappers, unraveling all the way down to the floor. “Found ‘em!” 

“Great,” she said, tearing one off of the end and unwrapping it. She pinched the end and pulled the base down until it was securely in place. Now, time to go to work. Wait, which hand did she say she was going to use again? Oh, right. Left. She’d use her left hand. And she did. She traced the nerve endings around his penis, making sure to hit the best-suited ones with each stroke. “Is this good for you?” 

“Yeah. But it could be better, if you know what I mean.” 

“I know everything.” And she switched from using her hands to her mouth. The taste was very odd, even though she knew exactly all the chemicals that commingled to create it. It was also strange to have something in her mouth that she absolutely must not chew. But like she said, she knew (at least the better half of) everything, and soon she got into a rhythm of licking and sucking that had Jason shifting underneath her and breathing very heavily. 

“You sure you’re a virgin?” He asked breathlessly as she carried on. She’d recently leveled up to the ability of understanding rhetorical questions, though, and she simply kept at it, teasing him gently with her tongue and then pressing against every nerve she could think of in the most pleasing pattern her brain could generate. Once she’d gotten started, it wasn’t that intimidating. 

Exactly two minutes and twenty three seconds had passed when he suddenly said, “We’d better stop.”

“What? Why?” Janet said, feeling a pang of insecurity. 

“I’m about to cum and I want to last awhile if I actually put it in you,” he said matter-of-factly. 

“Oh,” she said, relieved and grateful for the communication. “Okay. Do you want to do that now?” 

“Not yet,” Jason said, looking at her meaningfully. “Lie down. If you want to.” 

“I want to.” And then he was poised above her, leaning down and leaving kisses all the way down her neck and collarbone. 

“Stop me if I do anything you don’t like.” And his hands were all over her, his mouth making its way down to her breasts. His fingers slid over her vulva and she realized for the first time how wet she was, and how much she was tingling. This was so good. All the clichés sprang to mind—it was electric, ecstatic, elating, all that shirt. Just being touched there by someone else was such a novelty; she couldn’t get enough. 

His hands started moving around, presumably feeling for her clitoris, having a bit of trouble locating it. Awkward. After a minute she decided to speak up, just to point him in the right direction. Literally speaking. 

“Here,” she said, guiding his hand a bit to the left. “No, further down. And press a little harder, but still go slow,” she instructed, remembering reading in a few hundred million articles and internet posts that communication during sex was key. Tell him what you want and he just might give it to you, they said. She’d take them at their word. 

Jason was nothing all his life if not a good listener. He was the most caring partner imaginable, constantly checking in, making her feel safer than she ever had on earth. But of course, this was the reason she came here, after all. To be with him. There was a reason she wanted that so much. 

His kisses had traveled further down, reaching her thighs. Somewhere along the way his hands had stopped. She wanted them back, or maybe she wanted something else—no, she knew what she wanted. She just had to get the courage to ask him to— 

“I wanna eat you out now, is that okay?” 

Janet nodded enthusiastically, beyond relieved and thrilled that Jason was on the same wavelength. She couldn’t ask for more than that out of a sexual partner. She bit her lip through a smile and tried to shift into a more comfortable position. 

“Oh, here,” Jason said, grabbing a pillow from the head of the bed. “Put this under your butt, it makes the angle better.” Janet made finger guns and winked, then complied. It was a very strange position and yet, it made perfect sense. She wondered why she’d never thought of it when she was exploring her body on her own. 

Suddenly Jason’s hands were parting her thighs and then his tongue was tracing over her vulva. She gasped in surprise and then shivered at the feeling. It was so, so different from what she had imagined. 

Janet knew, from knowing everything, that Jason was sexually experienced. She knew, from existing in her body, that she was quite laden with lust. What she did not know, her human body being full of surprises, was that she would be quite literally writhing within a minute. Yeah, probably should have anticipated this one. But lots of things still snuck up on her. 

She found herself gripping the sheets on the bed between her fingers—another cliché, Janet thought, but she didn’t care—just to cope with it all. 

“Is this working for you?” Jason asked, momentarily looking up. 

“Don’t stop,” she said and her voice was halfway between a whisper and a croak. Jason grinned for a split second, then dove back in and kept at it. Then, before she even realized it was happening, she orgasmed, shuddering and crying out like she had no inhibitions, which was gradually getting closer to true. 

Then she collapsed, and Jason rose and stretched his neck. “How was that?” 

For a moment Janet didn’t answer. She had fallen flat on her back, arms crooked and legs splayed, trying to catch her breath. Finally she choked out, “Good.” 

“Do you want to keep going?” 

She sat up. Was that another rhetorical question? Maybe Jason thought she’d be tired out, it suddenly occurred to her. But the opposite was true. She wanted nothing more than to experience more—whatever happened next. She needed it to happen. If it didn’t she might die prematurely of frustration. And she was going to stick it out for the full 80 years; she’d already decided that. 

“Yes. Do you?” 

“Hell yeah!” They high-fived, and he leapt up beside her and started kissing her again. Traces of her wetness lingered on his tongue, sweet and salty and bitter at the same time.  _ Wow, sex is weird. _ He broke away and pushed her down onto her back again, gentle yet firm. He nudged her legs apart and positioned himself between them, taking his erection in his hand and leaning forward to insert it into her vagina. But she moved slightly in the wrong direction and it slid away instead. They giggled, Janet blushing slightly but losing her insecurities for once and getting lost in the joy of the moment. It was new and it was nice. She hoped it continued, that her joy carried on for as long as she could possibly lock it down. 

They tried again, and missed, and laughed. “Slippery,” Janet muttered. Then one more time, and he was inside her with a mutual heavy sigh and by far the strangest feeling she’d ever experienced. It was moderately uncomfortable and super weird. She knew this was normal, but it was still weird. It was like having an infinitely expanding, large, heavy object in her void. But she didn’t have a void anymore, Janet reminded herself. Unless she counted her v—

“Doing okay? Did that hurt?” Jason asked from above, looking at her with concern. 

“I’m alright, it just… feels weird. What do we do now?” 

Jason gave an experimental thrust and Janet grimaced in pain as he pressed what must have been her cervix. “Bad angle.” 

“Sorry not-girl,” he said, adjusting his position slightly and trying again, very slowly. Janet shifted too, adjusting her legs mathematically to avoid cramps. This time it didn’t hurt. She tried a little push of her own and soon they developed a new pattern, assisted by the springs in the mattress. His penis slid smoothly partially in and out of her vagina, just the tip and then almost the whole thing, alternating slowly. Her brain updated with this information—or rather, she learned it. Humans didn’t update, they just learned and sometimes grew. She still liked patterns, though. Especially this one. Her hands wound their way up his back and held on near his shoulders as they kept in motion. She wrapped her legs around his back too, for traction and comfort. She was glad to be so knowledgeable about physics. And anatomy. 

Janet knew all about the prostate, and that she had one. A variation of one. But having it stimulated was something she couldn’t prepare herself for. Full of surprises, as always. But this one was nice. No, it was fantastic. Her arousal had stimulated it for awhile now, her heart rate ascending and sending blood down to her sexual organs, increasing their sensitivity. Her prostate was swollen and easy to hit by now, warm and tender on the anterior wall of her vagina. Jason’s penis was running along it over and over, almost painfully but too good to even think about stopping. Especially since this was probably a wet dream and she’d wake up to the sound of Eleanor slamming the front door, kicking off her shoes, and dashing them against the wall in a few seconds. She had to take advantage of this, now. 

Jason’s face was flushed, and he was clearly approaching ejaculatory inevitability. Janet wasn’t there yet. That made her nervous. For a moment she considered faking it to save his ego. Then she remembered: this was Jason. He didn’t have one. She didn’t have to worry about anything like that. She relaxed and decided to hold on for the ride, however long that would be. 

Slightly longer than she expected, it turned out. But not as long as it would take her to orgasm. Jason exhaled with a long final thrust, and then collapsed on top of her for a moment. He was warm and sweaty, as was she. He was like a heavy, muscular blanket. Janet pressed a soft kiss into his neck and ran her fingers through his hair. “That was really good for me,” he murmured. “How was it for you?” 

“It felt great, but I didn’t have an orgasm from that. I did earlier though.” 

“Oh dip, I’m sorry not-girl,” he said. “But did you like that though? Because I can probably go again in a few minutes. And I can eat you out in the meantime, I love doing that!” His air of happiness was infectious, not that Janet needed much of a push. 

“Okay!” Janet beamed and kissed him, then repositioned herself on top of the pillow as he redirected his hands and mouth to her vulva. She was still well-lubricated with almost painfully aroused organs, and that didn’t seem to be about to change. If this was what humans made such a big deal about, she could see humans’ point. More clearly than ever. 

With the assistance of Jason’s hands Janet reached orgasm three more times over the next twenty minutes. From oral sex she orgasmed twice in half an hour. The initial desperate rush had faded, but each one was still great. Maybe even better; she was learning what he was good at, learning what she liked. She’d missed constantly updating when she first came to Earth, but now, it felt almost the same. 

After approximately a half hour had passed, they had vaginal sex again. This time Janet did orgasm, twice. And then they started up the whole cycle again. And again. 

By the time Janet’s fragile, way-too-human body was exhausted, they’d gone through five condoms, six hours, eight glasses of water, fourteen protein bars, and twenty-eight orgasms, twenty-three of which were Janet’s. Vaginas were an evolutionary work of genius. It was delightful that they were both athletic. Even so, Jason was clearly beyond exhausted. She was pretty nearly there herself. This was it; they’d reached the limits of human sexual intercourse, at least for the day. They were sweaty, aching, and starving. Condom wrappers were everywhere. Janet decided enough was enough, panting “Stop! I can’t take anymore. Thank you, so much. That was great.” 

“Yeet!” Jason cried out, collapsing onto the bed so hard it jolted Janet a few inches into the air. She crashed back down and immediately started up a unique combination of laughing and crying in pain. Her abdominal muscles were  _ very  _ sore. “I’m so tired!” Jason yelled. 

“Same here!” She cried, and high-fived him, causing them both to wince in pain as their core muscles contracted even slightly. For a few minutes after that, or maybe an hour or two (Janet wasn’t really paying attention just then), they just held hands and breathed deeply, eyes closed, trying to recover from  _ that _ . Feelings and images swirled through her brain. This was the most euphoria she’d ever felt. All the chemicals swirling around her body seemed to have culminated into some sweet, blissful feelings-soup. She could live with that. 

“I’m gonna order a pizza!” Jason suddenly exclaimed, rising from the bed. “Want anything on it?” 

Sugar. Salt. She needed to replenish her energy and her body was craving all forms of things unhealthy. “Pineapple and anchovies,” she said. 

“Okay.” He didn’t even question her. Or judge her for a choice that would probably send her straight to The Bad Place, if she weren’t already destined for it anyway. She loved him so much. He placed the order on his cellphone and then flopped back on the bed, worming his way under the covers. He patted the bed next to him, indicating to her that she was welcome to join him, and, slowly, painfully, she crawled up to the head of the bed and slid in next to him. They were nose to nose, legs intertwined and holding each other tight. Both Janet’s arms were falling asleep.  _ Wow, cuddling is awful. And great. All at once _ . Every few minutes they kissed, and starbursts of happiness flooded through her again. Best. Day. Ever. 

Twenty-one minutes and thirteen seconds later, their pizza arrived. The bizarre toppings were just what her body needed. She wolfed down five pieces in less than an hour. Jason was wearing gym shorts now, and Janet was wearing one of his sleeveless hoodies over black boxer briefs. She looked absolutely ridiculous, and she loved it. 

“Hey Janet,” Jason asked as they ate. “Why did you tell me you loved me? After all this time you just decided now? What changed?” 

“Humans only live eighty years and they spend so much of it waiting for things to be over,” Janet said. Her old chestnut here on Earth. “I decided I’d rather not wait for my whole life to pass before I said something. I think I made the right choice.” 

“I do too.” He nudged her lightly and rested his head on her shoulder. “I love you, not-girl.” 

“I love you too, Jason.” She smiled, and, finally, everything had its place. 


End file.
